CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- If the New Age alarmists are right, then Friday is our last day on Earth. The specific time is kind of fuzzy, but according to some, in the next 36 hours or so, a meteor may come whizzing out of the sky, the sun could explode or an ancient South American god in the form of a giant winged snake may appear to wipe out all but the faithful, which is, under the circumstances, almost all of us.
The National Weather Service, of course, is just calling for rain and snow, but in the event the worrywarts in the tinfoil hats are right, The Gazz wondered how people might spend their last hours on the planet.
So we made some inquiries (OK, we mostly just asked some people on Facebook) about what they'd do, and the results were surprising.
As it turns out, not a lot of people would go see a movie if all of existence was about to end. It's just not an obvious choice, even though "The Hobbit" seems like a fun return to the magical world of Middle Earth and that last "Twilight" movie is still showing in some theaters.
In fact, of the half dozen or so local filmmakers and movie-related people we contacted, we only heard back from Sam Holdren, who said, "If the world was ending, watching movies is the last thing I'd do."
However, he did reluctantly add that if he were trapped in a room without windows or doors with only a television, a Blu-ray player and his choice of movies, he'd watch "Playtime," a 1967 French comedy from Jacque Tati.
He said the film is "a reminder that despite technology and structured environments, it's the chaos and lack of structure that helps us feel more comfortable and brings us closer together.
"It's a nice legacy to consider before we're splattered through the cosmos."
So maybe it's better to just have everybody over, bust the lease and throw a party.
For that, you're going to need supplies.
Now, some Doomsday prepper websites have a long list of recommended "supplies" that include things like bottled water, spare batteries and Meals Ready to Eat, but that operates on the premise that survival is possible.
Realistically speaking, if vengeful ancient gods are returning to reclaim the earth, bottled water is not only pointless; it's boring. At the very least, you should pick up a couple two-liters of Hawaiian Punch and order a few pies from the pizza place of your choice.
Live a little, and remember to tip the delivery guy generously. He's probably a musician.
Jeremy Still, chef at Edgewood Country Club, said if it turned out the world ended tomorrow, he'd feast on a few of his all-time favorite foods.
He said, "My portions would be small and with numerous courses with accompanying wines."