2. Loss of self: As kids, we had to play by the rules. Our unique energy got caged.
Energy move: Ask yourself, "If it were up to me what would I hang on my wall? Wear to work? Do for fun? Find the pockets of freedom where you can be more yourself.
3. Deprivation: Duties and responsibilities fill your days. You gain weight trying to get emotional energy from food.
Energy move: Add pleasure, beauty, fun. Satisfying experiences, large and small, are the real nourishment you crave. Plan a big treat to look forward to -- and a little one every day.
4. Envy: We may not feel envy directly, but may find someone else's good fortune depressing.
Energy move: Count your blessings. Comparison is a loser's game. Look at what you have and feel grateful.
5. Worry: When you worry, you think you're dealing with things. But you're just suffering. Worry never comes up with good ideas. It torments and exhausts us.
Energy move: Get going. Action is the cure for worry. Do one thing that brings you a step closer to coping.
6. Unfinished business: Unmade decisions and postponed projects drain you.
Energy move: Do it or dump it. Forget the perfect decision; just trust yourself and make a choice. Put projects in an appointment book. If you can't find a good time, that's a signal you don't want to do it. So don't.
7. Overcommitment: You're always saying "yes" -- to your boss, mother, kids, friends; to requests, favors, meetings.
Energy move: Say yes to yourself. Tell someone else no every once in a while, just to feel your own power -- and to increase your bandwidth. You'll gain a whole new sense of your ability to take care of yourself.
8. Holding on to loss: Fresh loss is an emergency. But old losses you can't let go of are dead weight.
Energy move: Cry all your tears. Indulge in big-time mourning, Cry 'til you're dry. Then go out and embrace life.
Once you learn to tap this fuel of emotional energy, it's a renewable resource. "Unlike physical energy, which runs down as we get older, emotional energy can actually increase -- the more you learn about what works best for you," Kirshenbaum says.
Now that's "fuel for thought."
Linda Arnold, MBA, is a certified wellness instructor and chairwoman/CEO of The Arnold Agency, a marketing communications company specializing in advertising, public relations, government relations and interactive marketing. Reader comments are welcome and may be directed to Linda Arnold, The Arnold Agency, 117 Summers St., Charleston, WV 25301, or emailed to livelifefu...@arnoldagency.com.