After a close call with a car, a Texas motorcyclist left the freeway, deciding it would be safer to travel to his destination through a residential neighborhood. Because the streets were nearly empty, he lifted the visor on his full-face helmet to get a bit more air, and prepared to enjoy a slow ride home. Except just as an oncoming car passed by, a brown furry missile shot out from underneath and tumbled to a stop in the street -- a squirrel that had apparently been trying to cross the road when it encountered the car.
Now directly in the motorcycle's path, the squirrel flipped onto its feet, stood on his hind legs, and faced the oncoming Valkyrie cycle with steadfast resolve in its beady little eyes. Its mouth opened and, at the last possible second, it screamed and leaped upward, flying up over the windshield and hitting the cyclist square in the chest.
"If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn he'd brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack," said the cyclist, who was dressed for summer in T-shirt and jeans. Upon which the furry tornado began doing some damage.
While the cyclist was trying to grab hold of the evil attack squirrel of death, the creature managed to latch onto one the man's gloved fingers and bite down. The rider swung his hand backward, which flung the squirrel (and the glove) over his shoulder. And onto his back. Where the attack continued.
Large man in rapidly shredding T-shirt. On a big black and chrome cruiser. With a furious squirrel in full attack mode on a residential street.
Squirrel decided to return frontside and did so by way of the partially open faceplate on the helmet.
The now screaming man managed to grab squirrel by tail and fling it.
And the live squirrel grenade sailed right into the open window of a parked police car.
Said the rider, "I heard screams. They weren't mine."
That was one dangerous squirrel.
I hope it comes to Charleston and starts hunting hawk.
Reach Karin Fuller via email at karinful...@gmail.com.