One of the first finds was for the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable. You wouldn't expect a product that promised "the purest digital audio you've ever experienced" to be something that would inspire comedy, but it did.
"Sure, it's almost $10k for a cable that's just 59 inches long, but I used it to connect my computer to the Internet and was able to get stock quotes that were about 10 minutes in the future. In just an hour, the cable paid for itself."
"This cable far exceeded my expectations for a neural frequency emitter (brainwashing mechanism) that I've been perfecting. The signals from the emitter transmitted beautifully, along with information from six parallel universes. I now have a dimensional rift in my laboratory. Half my scientists fell through. Fortunately, I should be able to close the rift with a second cable, but must first wait for Amazon to ship the blasted thing. If only I had invested in a Prime membership."
I skipped over to a few book reviews, including one for a book called "How to Avoid Huge Ships," one of the latest in the author's series of similarly titled books.
The very first review had me rolling.
"I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess on the pavement, I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realized it said, 'How to Avoid Huge ShiPs.' A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement, but I read the book anyway and am pleased to say I'm not having near misses with huge ships anymore."
"Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined."
But this last was my favorite:
"As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I shudder at the thought of the increasing influence of huge ships in the lives of my children. I remember the strain I caused my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long intercontinental voyages that kept Mom and Dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! Huge ships are everywhere, and it doesn't help that TV and movies make them seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest, open and nonjudgmental way. I'm confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did."
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.