CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- My friends -- whose numbers can be counted on two hands and include my husband, our pastor, our doctor and our lawyers -- should be relieved I have a column again.
Now they don't have to listen to my skillful and detailed email reports and take my calls at home. It all made them feel quite powerless to do anything to help me.
So they suffered as I did.
One such report was titled "My Summer Vacation."
It was about tumbling over my husband's cats in the backyard, getting so mad that I tore up my Versace sunglasses in front of the family while mumbling "... so much work for Mommy, so much work for Mommy, so much work for Mommy ..."
That day was 110 degrees Fahrenheit.
Everyone in the family just looked at me, their mouths in little round O's, as I ripped my fabulous sunglasses apart and rolled in the grass.
My husband loves cats. I do not.
Having grown up in the country, I believe animals are for the out-of-doors, to be fed, exercised and otherwise ignored.
My husband, originally from the Philadelphia area, believes cats are people too.
I personally prefer a mean, loyal mutt.
THEREFORE we had six cats -- four inside and two outside. At same time we had three children under age 5.
And learning how to sleep with cats, while pregnant or nursing, for 60 months straight became a HUGE problem.
Suddenly we were introduced to yet another member of the family -- a tomcat named Kookai.
Strangely, our eldest son named him immediately without any prompting.
Kookai is a French fashion label; it also the name for a breed of horse called Swedish Warmblood.