CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Gambling is of no interest to me whatsoever, but I have always known that I will someday win the Powerball. I am so sure of this that I rarely buy tickets and I scoff at those who do. Who wins what, what state the Powerball is won in, weighing out the chances -- or even thinking about the dollar amount -- is totally immaterial to me.
It's just something that I know will happen.
I have already planned my foundation.
I already know which passports we will acquire. I already know where we will hide when everyone finds out where we live. I have already decided who gets what, both now and in my last will and testament. I have already decided that the governess will be Chinese, not British. I already know that nothing will change except the amount of people we employ and the absolute fact that I will not deal with any of them.
What if my in-laws challenge the winnings? What if they say I found a $20 bill in my husband's pants pocket to buy the tickets because I don't have any money of my own?
I have already checked into this also.
There is no judge in the WORLD that would redistribute my Powerball proceeds once they find out the work I have to do. If they sue me, I am just going to reveal that I have already given my husband half of it! Or possibly all of it! They can even have some too!
Then the entire extended family will set sail for destinations unknown in my boat "The Love Lottery."
But it will have to be a VERY big boat.
Now this whole scenario will be a cute movie, which I plan to option to Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's production company.
I might decide to become a director or stick my sons in the movie.
But what I'd really like to do is take some cooking classes in Europe, learn another language and make stunning scrapbooks.