The blower hit the ground as I went reeling backward, stumbling over my feet and the cord and heaven knows what else as I tried desperately to avoid experiencing what it's like to literally have a wild hare up my butt.
Too thoroughly flummoxed to see where the rabbit went, I assumed it shot out the door and into the nearby woods, except now I suspect it stayed right there, nearby. Likely chuckling for hours over what must've felt like a victorious charge.
I've fought bunnies before, but only the dust kind, not living and breathing and fur-covered and furious. I went in the house to clean myself up, and soon became so occupied by the usual distractions that I didn't get back to the garage until the following day.
Where I experienced a repeat performance of the gale-force rabbit rocket-propelled crazy hare thing from the day before. Except this time, I'm pretty sure it was going for my throat.
There was no reasoning with this hare, no coming to an understanding on sharing the space. Each time I returned to the garage, the rabbit would shoot out or knock something over and send me stumbling backward again, tensed for the impending launch of fury in fur.
Since the bunny seemed so determined to stay, I wondered if it might be a female with babies nearby, so my daughter and I searched every corner of the garage. We found no nest, but while we were looking, we accidentally trapped the big rabbit behind an angled sheet of plywood. Celeste helped me gap the board just enough that the rabbit turned away from me as it prepared to shoot through the gap. When it did, I jumped in and grabbed it.
Grabbing a large wild rabbit -- and successfully holding on to it -- is not a simple endeavor. Putting tights on a greased squid would've likely been easier, but I held tight, pulled it against me. Talked softly, shushing it, and although this sounds bizarre, I rubbed its nose, which for some reason, can hypnotize a rabbit. The big bunny soon relaxed, or perhaps it passed out. While it was calm, I checked its gender, thinking if it was female, I'd leave it be, as there could be well-hidden babies.
But it wasn't a girl. It was clearly and without doubt male. One that nature had blessed. If there were adult movies for rabbits, this boy had star potential.
Once the bunny was secured in a cat carrier, he was driven to my boyfriend's house and released in an ideal location -- a field populated with many other wild hares. Next to a neighborhood where several garages stood open.
Returning home, I was pleased the garage would be mine once again.
Except when I went in, there, in the center of the bay, was a very large and oddly familiar looking spider.
It raised two legs in the air and waved.
Reach Karin Fuller via email at karinful...@gmail.com.