4. When you notice you're doubting yourself, STOP
Are you a dream catcher or a dream smasher? The second you start indulging fear, you can get lost in a cycle of reactionary thoughts. "I might be lonely" leads to "How will I meet people?" Before you know it, you've somehow traveled all the way to "What if I become a recluse, start overeating and develop restless leg syndrome from sitting too much-alone--on my couch?"
OK, so that's an exaggeration. The point is that speculation leads to feelings, which can lead to speculation and then more feelings. If we can catch ourselves and stop the cycle, we can prevent spiraling down into an abyss. Ask yourself, "What are three things that could go absolutely right for me in this situation?"
5. Develop coping skills
It's all about assuring yourself you can handle anything that may arise. The concept of "defensive pessimism," shown to help manage anxiety, is when you consider the worst so you can plan how you'd handle it. Just don't stay there!
6. Use stress reduction techniques
Finding your center will help prepare you to tackle uncertainty. Whatever does it for you -- a long walk, deep breathing, meditation or a hot bath -- just do it! Build up your reserves.
7. Focus on what you can control
We often overlook the little things we can do to make life easier while obsessing about the big things. While you're in a "holding pattern," look for small actions that can make a difference.
8. Let go. Surrender the outcome.
Stop living for tomorrow, for his or her response, for the paycheck or some future result. Set your intention, give it your attention and then let it go.
Trust and allow that what you want -- or something even better -- will show up for you. Maybe not the way you scripted it. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But in a form, and at a time, when you're ready to receive it.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, psychologist and author, offers a perspective. "With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or trust what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow -- or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose."
Linda Arnold, M.A., MBA, is a certified wellness instructor, counselor and chairwoman/CEO of The Arnold Agency, a marketing communications firm with offices in West Virginia, Montana and Washington, D.C. Reader comments are welcome and may be directed to Linda Arnold, The Arnold Agency, 117 Summers St., Charleston, WV 25301 or emailed to livelifefu...@arnoldagency.com.