CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Enough with being able to download ring tones already. Can someone come up with an app that lets you download new horn sounds for your car?
I'm hoping for something that sounds threatening. Intimidating. I drive an older-model Jeep Liberty that, while it looks sort of tough, it sounds anything but. I've heard duck quacks that carry more authority.
The Jeep manufacturer must've made some hinky deal with a kazoo factory since my horn sounds like a carnival noisemaker, or maybe more like what you'd expect when a clown nose gets squeezed.
I want something menacing. More precisely, I want a sound capable of striking fear in the heart of a teen, one that frightens them into moving just a little bit faster. Especially when they're exiting a vehicle in front of the school in the morning.
The start of the new school year has me dealing once again with lulled teens. It astounds me how so many of them appear surprised when their car comes to a stop and it's time to exit the vehicle. Most tend to do this in slow motion, often having to pause to retrieve items from the back or trunk of the car, thus reducing the flow of traffic in the drop-off lane to a standstill.
One day last week I was passed by a snail.
Traffic was inching along so slowly that for a moment, I got confused and thought I was on I-64, but then I zoomed past a three-legged blind turtle with a cane and cement boots and realized that wouldn't have been possible on the Interstate. That turtle would've left me in the dust.