"Dad told me the truth ages ago. Said he couldn't stomach lying to his own children," said Geoff. "The bunny is really just the front man for the Easter Pig."
"Front man?" I asked.
"You see, pigs aren't exactly ... well, they're not a holiday marketer's dream creature. They aren't cute, fuzzy or cuddly," said Geoff. "And from a practical standpoint, pigs don't have laps. They're physically incapable of sitting in a chair at the mall and balancing a child on their knee. Apparently, a lap is a non-negotiable requirement for the position."
"Sounds like typical business," I said. "The lowly pig does all the grunt work. The fancy rabbit gets all the perks."
"I suppose you could say the Easter Bunny is the holiday version of lip-synching," said Geoff. "People believe he's the talent, but he's really just the cute face, mouthing the words."
"How on earth did they manage to keep this a secret so long?"
"The Easter Pig isn't a ham," said Geoff. "He doesn't want to hog the attention, so he hasn't squealed."
Instead of being disgruntled, he's a truly fine swine.
Karin Fuller can be reached via e-mail at karinful...@gmail.com. Her columns can be found online at her blog at thegazz.com.