Wear a wet bathing suit.
Park both family cars end to end in your driveway. In the front car, turn on the right turn signal. Sit in the car behind it. For 10 hours. For complete experience, add children who alternate saying "Are we there yet?" with "I have to pee" and an adult who intermittently threatens the children that if they (a) "don't stop immediately" or (b) "don't keep your hands to yourself," then they are going to (a) "leave you by the side of the road" or (b) "strap you both to the hood of the car."
Cut strips of paper and write "Sanitized for your protection" on each one. Every day, slide one of the strips diagonally across your commode. Maximize the effect by folding the end of the toilet paper into a neat "V" shape. Place a Gideon Bible in your nightstand drawer.
Slice soap into small, rectangular slivers and cover with paper. Leave a stack of white hand and bath towels next to an ice bucket on your bathroom sink.
Wear wrinkled clothing and a camera around your neck.
Or you could share a rental cottage with friends. Visit relatives. Look at a map and find all the places within three hours of home that you've been wanting to see (or see again).
Or you could just buy a cheap hammock, stock up on books and stay home.
Karin Fuller can be reached via e-mail at karinful...@cnpapers.com">karinful...@cnpapers.com. Her columns can be accessed online through her blog at thegazz.com.