CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- If you haven't already heard about the "Best Job In The World," go online and look up "Caretaker of Hamilton Island" so you can join the rest of us dreamers as we lust after this job.
Basically, the person they hire will get paid a salary of about $103,000 ($150,000 Australian) to spend six months living in a multimillion-dollar beachfront villa while enjoying the plentiful perks this paradise has to offer.
The caretaker "will be expected to stroll the white sands, snorkel the reef, and take care of a 'few minor tasks.'" Is it just me or are those words kind of erotic? By the time I finished reading the job description, I had a strange craving for a cigarette. (And I don't even smoke.)
I'm an imaginative person, but if there's a more attractive job out there, I don't know what it would be.
The more I read about Tourism Queensland's search to find the best person to represent the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef, the more I thought, This has to be the most clever campaign ever. (I honestly believe that. It's not just me sucking up, hoping to impress someone on the selection committee.)
As soon as news about the job search went public, hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world began flooding the Web site. So even before choosing whom their island caretaker will be, these resourceful tourism folks have reportedly generated an estimated $70 million worth of publicity worldwide.
I expect my reaction to the story about the job wasn't much different than most everyone else. As I scanned the list of skills the position required, I quickly came up with a variety of reasons I was a perfect fit for the post.
For instance, their ideal candidate must be an excellent communicator, able to speak and write English. Well, I'm all about communicating. Just ask my husband. Sometimes I communicate so much he claims it makes him tired simply listening to me. I must naturally put a lot of energy into it since people have been telling me that all my life.
The job description says the person they hire must be a good swimmer. They can ask anyone in my family - when I'm at the ocean or pool, you won't find me sunbathing. No sirree. I'm in the water every chance that I get. Granted that's mostly because it's hard for anyone to see my thighs when they're underwater, but swimming's good, too.
The person they hire is expected to take entertaining videos and photos of life above and below water for the online gallery. By hiring me, they could get more bang for the buck since I have this long history of getting into bizarre situations - situations that would likely draw hits not just at their site, but on YouTube and blooper-type shows.
And the writing part of the job - where they want weekly blog posts about the island - that's the part I like best. (Actually, it's what I like best just a wee bit after that whole the island/beach/house/salary part.) In my 11 years as a columnist, I've found there's little I won't do to get material to write about, including self-infliction of bodily harm. Granted it's usually unintentional self-infliction, but I'm generally game for most anything.
In order to gather blog material for the Great Barrier Reef Islands tourism site, the island caretaker must endure and report on such hardships as spa treatments, bushwalking and snorkeling. These are sacrifices I'm willing to make.
And I have until Feb. 22 to convince them their perfect person is right here.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@cnpapers.com.