Likely attracted by our frequently replenished summer stock of fresh fruits and vegetables, the gnats seem to multiply overnight -- a problem I don't recall ever once having when we ate nothing but junk.
I'm not a selfish host. I'd have been OK with sharing our bounty with a bug or two, but apparently one techno-savvy bug tweeted about our somewhat casual housekeeping tendencies and the next thing we knew, they were holding gnat class reunions in our kitchen.
I have bloodlust now.
It's bad enough that the outdoor bugs, mostly mosquitoes, had gotten so bad I've become a prisoner in my own home. No matter how much bug repellent I douse myself with, there's something about me that transforms DEET into A-1 Steak Sauce for bugs.
The insect problem has me at wits' end, my paranoia increasing to the point where I wonder if the gnats and mosquitoes aren't working in concert. The gnats want the house to themselves. The mosquitoes want their own personal blood bank.
Something about me attracts bugs. I suspect I'm invited to outdoor events because of my gift for drawing the ardor of every insect within a 20-mile radius to such a degree that all other guests are free to enjoy hours of bug-free time while I slap myself silly.
Attempting to reduce the bug population one mosquito and gnat at a time.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@cnpapers.com.