CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Looking it up on the Internet was an afterthought. The deed had been done. It was already past tense. Yet the experience had been odd enough that I wondered if other rabbit owners might've had something similar happen.
So I Googled.
"WHATEVER YOU DO," wrote a particularly intense Internet poster whose caps-lock key must be sticky. "Do NOT bathe your RABBIT!!!"
(Her exclamation key was also impaired.)
"Rabbits should NEVER, EVER, EVER be bathed!!!"
Oh crap. I thought. Do they shrink? Do their colors run?
Even worse, it turns out.
They're dry clean only.
Seriously. You're not supposed to bathe rabbits. There's no law against it or anything. Not yet, anyway. Someone might want to keep an eye on Michael Vick to see if he starts placing bets on whether Thumper is more buoyant than Bugs.
Buoyant, you ask?
Yeah. It's the weirdest thing. If you'd asked me last week how to make a rabbit float, I'd have suggested adding two scoops of ice cream and some root beer, but all you actually need is a compliant rabbit, some warm bath water, and perhaps a few dozen fleas.
Our rabbit, Winnie, is perhaps more compliant than most, but she's also confident to a somewhat unnatural degree -- regularly slap-shoving dogs and bedding down with a once-feral cat. She likes long nose rubs, destroying phone books, and reruns of "The Shield."
And despite what some INTERNET EXPERTS INSIST!!!!, Winnie also likes baths. Turns out she likes to float.
I realized Winnie's cat buddy had generously shared his collection of fleas after our poor rabbit began randomly popping into the air every minute or two, between which times she would contort herself into peculiar positions as she tried to rid herself of the bug. I combed her as best as I could, but with lousy results.