The gift-giving season offers the opportunity to gently share a potential remedy with those who experience unpleasant personal exhaust problems.
For just $11.95, you can purchase a box of five delicately packaged 3.25-inch-square fabric filters that have been treated with activated carbon to neutralize odors. Adhesive strips enable the patches to be strategically adhered to undergarments prior to attending chili cook-off events.
To order, visit SolutionsThatStick.com and search for "Subtle Butt."
Who can be tougher to shop for than those hell-bent on nothing less than world domination?
Not to worry. Amazon.com has just the thing: uranium ore.
Imagine the expression of pure glee on your favorite little lunatic's face when they unwrap the gift that's been mysteriously glowing through the wrapper from under the tree.
Packaged in an easy-to-open and most attractive metal container, the product boasts a shelf life of 4.468 billion years. A little-known bonus for those purchasing uranium ore is its amazing properties as a tooth whitener, although such use generally results in the teeth no longer remaining in the mouth.
Uranium ore gift recipients should be cautioned to heed the warnings that this product is not to be used as a lubricant. And unfortunately, Amazon's Prime Free Two-Day Shipping does not apply on orders shipped to the Middle East.
If I actually manage to succeed at finishing my shopping early this year, it might result in something I hadn't thought of before. It just might make all those on my shopping list suddenly appreciative for all those lame gifts they received in previous years.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.