CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Apparently this is no longer just a column. It's a support group for klutzes.
"I identify with your clumsiness 100 percent," wrote withhold-name-if-you-use-this-in-the-paper. Although she had fallen backward off her porch, she somehow ended up needing stitches in her chin.
"How I managed to hit my chin when falling backward is still a mystery," she wrote.
After detailing a number of falls and the aftermath, she wrote that she could especially relate to last week's Yo Mama joke about falling out of bed and missing the floor.
When Nameless took a nap that ended up being much longer than planned, she awakened with such a start that when she hurried to climb out of bed, her feet began sliding across the floor. Where her small dog was sleeping.
"When I realized I was going to fall, I began yelling at my miniature pinscher to move," she wrote. "The little fellow was between my knees, looking up at me like I was King Kong falling off the Empire State Building."
Luckily, the two fared better than Kong and Fay Wray.
She said a cousin doing genealogy research discovered the family's original name in German means "the clumsy one." She's simply living up to the name.
Another reader, Debra Shafer-Snodgrass, writes that she's been a klutz all her life, and has the stories to prove it.
As a child playing tag, she ran full speed into a clothesline, knocking herself out. As a teenage carhop at Shoney's, she was moved from waiting on cars because she kept tripping and dropping trays of food on the ground.
"Mr. Schoenbaum thought I'd be better suited doing kitchen work," Debra writes.
Little did he know she was as skilled at tripping indoors as out.