And then spring rolled around, and Boss Bob started making Kurt's brother mow his yard.
Armed with a squirt bottle filled with white vinegar, they sprayed three grave-sized rectangles on Bob's grass. (Vinegar doesn't quite kill the grass, but turns it nice and yellow.). And from time to time, upon these fake graves, they'd leave neatly stacked branches.
There were late-night trips to the edge of the woods, where they'd blow a dog whistle, causing Bob's yappy little dog to bark crazily even though nothing appeared to be there. There were muddy boot prints left on Bob's patio, even when there'd been no rain to make mud. And there were (I love this) gobs of birdseed spread all over the fake graves, which attracted large numbers of birds to congregate.
Now twitchy, yet still obnoxious, Bob installed motion detectors and an infrared camera.
Kurt countered by giving his brother deer estrus (doe heat urine) to discreetly spray on the trees near the graves while he was cutting Bob's grass. Because Bob's property backed up against state game lands, there were soon hordes of young bucks lolling about Bob's back yard.
This next part is so over the top that some might think it borders on demented. I prefer to view it as genius.
Kurt had two cats that would spend their nights hunting, and they would often leave their spare mice and moles outside, near the door. Rather than disposing of the carcasses, Kurt began saving them in a trash bag in his spare freezer. And then, when the time seemed right, Bob's patio was covered with tiny thawing corpses.
Bob checked into a hotel. He now lives with his parents.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.