In the past decade or so, it seems as though hugs have begun to replace the handshake as the most common form of greeting in casual situations, which is surprising considering how complicated hugs can be from a tactical standpoint.
I generally allow others to lead when hugs are concerned, as I'm never entirely sure how much of a hug to give. Even so, I often misjudge and end up giving a barely leaning-in, shoulder-bump type of hug to someone who was moving in for a bear hug.
And then there's the problem of going in for a hug, but you both lean the same direction and your heads whap together. Or when your button snags on their sweater and pulling away causes them to unravel. Or you attempt to return a hug while holding a nearly full cup of coffee.
Even so, I still find hugs preferable to the high five, which I've been glad to see lose popularity as a form of greeting. High fives require more coordination and aiming skills than some people can handle. I once had the misfortune of standing next to a person whose friend had poor aim, along with a good deal of momentum and a really large hand.
The fist bump as a form of greeting seems to have slowed in these parts, although its popularity was boosted for a time after being used by President Obama and his wife. Howie Mandel, the host of "Deal or No Deal," uses the fist bump on his show as a way to avoid shaking hands with contestants, as he is germophobic.
Mandel might be on to something, as the Centers for Disease Control has recommended the fist bump be used in lieu of handshakes or hugs as a means of reducing the spread of disease.
I've gradually become accustomed to hugging, even to the point where I'll occasionally initiate contact. But those hugs are reserved for those I find most difficult to embrace.
Because I know that eventually, I'll have to let go.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.
CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Every time my family gets together, no matter the reason for the visit, the endings are nearly always the same.
It begins with someone mentioning it's about time to go, then there's some standing and milling about as belongings are gathered. There's usually the sudden recollection of extra dessert or leftovers to package and send with; the retrieval of items left on previous visits; the passing through rooms, saying goodbye, hurrying to fit in tidbits of information that were nearly forgotten -- tidbits that sometimes lead to extended delays as pictures or videos are retrieved from the computer or tracked down somewhere else.
According to actor Alan Alda, "The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart."
Eventually, though, one of those attempting to leave will reach the garage, which seems to be the signal for the next phase of departure, where photo documentation of the visit is required.
Many of our family's Kodak moments seem to take place on the gravel driveway in front of my parents' garage, although a good number have been snapped in restaurant parking lots during those times we've assembled away from headquarters.
To nonfamily members, our process might seem odd or inefficient. Perhaps even maddening. To me, though, it feels as if none of us really want to say goodbye, so we drag it out as long as we can.
My husband's family is far more efficient. Declare a simple, "We're heading out," and in no time, you've been hugged and thanked and sent on your way. Their departure routine doesn't feel any less loving than my family's extended affairs. It's simply a matter of style.
The hugging did take some getting used to on my part, as I'd never been a big fan of the hug. My in-laws are the type who usually hug both upon arrival and departure, but considering they're two of the best-smelling people I've ever encountered, it's hard to mind an embrace.
In the past decade or so, it seems as though hugs have begun to replace the handshake as the most common form of greeting in casual situations, which is surprising considering how complicated hugs can be from a tactical standpoint.
I generally allow others to lead when hugs are concerned, as I'm never entirely sure how much of a hug to give. Even so, I often misjudge and end up giving a barely leaning-in, shoulder-bump type of hug to someone who was moving in for a bear hug.
And then there's the problem of going in for a hug, but you both lean the same direction and your heads whap together. Or when your button snags on their sweater and pulling away causes them to unravel. Or you attempt to return a hug while holding a nearly full cup of coffee.
Even so, I still find hugs preferable to the high five, which I've been glad to see lose popularity as a form of greeting. High fives require more coordination and aiming skills than some people can handle. I once had the misfortune of standing next to a person whose friend had poor aim, along with a good deal of momentum and a really large hand.
The fist bump as a form of greeting seems to have slowed in these parts, although its popularity was boosted for a time after being used by President Obama and his wife. Howie Mandel, the host of "Deal or No Deal," uses the fist bump on his show as a way to avoid shaking hands with contestants, as he is germophobic.
Mandel might be on to something, as the Centers for Disease Control has recommended the fist bump be used in lieu of handshakes or hugs as a means of reducing the spread of disease.
I've gradually become accustomed to hugging, even to the point where I'll occasionally initiate contact. But those hugs are reserved for those I find most difficult to embrace.
Because I know that eventually, I'll have to let go.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.
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