If there's ever a time when my actions, facial expressions, body language or tone of voice fail to express whether I'm feeling flirty, romantic, professional or homicidal, the color of eyeliner I've chosen isn't going to provide much of a clue.
These magazines would be providing more of a service by featuring tips on how to cover one's mood, as there are likely more women wanting to know how to conceal feeling exhausted, hormonal, unappreciated or stern.
Another article promised to reveal "43 Ways to Look Younger."
I expected tip number one to be "Get much older friends." Instead, it suggested you should "Plump up your lips."
I'm not sure how plump lips make a person look younger, unless perhaps they've been plumped to the point where the weight of the lips pulls the face down until the wrinkles are tight.
The article also suggested keeping your "eye cream in the refrigerator for a quick under-eye depuffing." Using that kind of thinking, just imagine how bright-eyed and alert you could look by storing suppositories in the freezer.
Although I doubt the cure to my woes can be found under a clever headline between the pages of some magazine, until I master reading faster, I guess I'll never know.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.