"I bought Allen one of those rotary trimmers."
"How do those work?"
"He claims it shortens and sharpens the hairs. Not a problem with his ears, but with his nose -- when he sneezes, he bleeds."
"My husband has one of those things. Says it works fine when it's new and sharp, but soon as it starts going dull, it'll tangle. If you don't react fast enough, it'll twist your nose like a pretzel."
"I've seen guys with pretzel noses. Is that how it happens?"
"I've heard there are plastic surgeons who specialize in untangling knotted noses. Must be pretty horrific."
"Believe I'll just stick to my tweezers," said our man. "Though the last time I did, I'd swear one of the hairs was attached to my brainstem."
"When I use tweezers, it makes my eyes water. Then I sneeze."
"You mean women have nose hair too?" he asked.
"After a certain age, yeah. But never as bad as what happens to men."
"My dad refuses to deal with his ears. Says he can't see the hair, so it isn't his problem. Claims he's growing an 'earfro.'"
"Some men look like they're growing a shrub."
"Dad's been threatening to let his grow and comb it into a goatee, down and over. Meet in the center. Mom's probably talking to divorce lawyers now."
It was about that time our lone man excused himself to run to the restroom.
Where I'd bet my last dollar he spent some time at the mirror.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.