CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- While doing one of those vague online searches -- trying to find just the right word for something I had in my head, but couldn't define -- I landed on a definition (at humorbin.com) that I found so funny I simply had to share it. Considering that my daughter will turn 14 on Saturday, it seems appropriate to dedicate this definition in honor of her teen years.

"TEENAGER (noun): A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets (See SLOTHS).

"Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food and responsibility.

"The males of the species forage for food constantly and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments that slide off their backsides and look ridiculous. Females sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development. Males indicate their approval by staring at the display.

"The call of the female is complex and shrill, while males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory "Yo. Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up? S'up?"

"Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears for an average of six hours a day. The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to jarring electronic signals from radios.

"Teenagers concentrate on important information by rolling their eyes, shrugging, mumbling, and sighing."

As most online searches of this type tend to inspire, more extensive research commenced.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

And then I decided to check in on one of my favorite writers, W. Bruce Cameron (best known for his "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter") to get his take on teens.

"When teenage girls get to be older, they seem to realize that shouting 'I hate you' from the other side of a slammed door has thus far proved to be an ineffective method of persuasion. After all, no father has ever knocked on the door and said, 'Honey? Your vile screaming has won me over. If you really hate me, then, yes, you have my permission to drive off with a couple of irresponsible friends and wind up the subject of a crime show about missing women.'"

It wasn't until I was a few hours into my research that I realized much of what I was reading about teenagers didn't apply to my girl, who is pretty much the funniest, happiest, most upbeat person I know.

She might be a late-sleeping, phone-clutching, mall rat on occasion, but she gives it her own spin. Life with her has never been dull.

You can see Celeste and her friends on stage at the CYAC Production of "Boxes 14" at 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday or Saturday at WVSU Capital Theater at 123 Summers St. Admission, $6.

Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.