CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- The news release wasn't for the standard back-to-school product.

"Our children's days of climbing trees, long bike rides, and trips to the local pool are coming to an end. We find ourselves ... counting down the days to the first day of school.

"Moms across the country have survived the exhausting summer months, and are looking forward to the routine that school provides. As notebooks are bought and pencils sharpened, moms shouldn't forget to make sure they're back-to-school ready as well with the help of Dysport®."

At this point, I'm expecting the sales pitch to be heading in the direction of some type of fitness product -- a new kind of toning sneaker perhaps. But, no.

"Dysport temporarily improves the look of moderate to severe frown lines between the eyebrows. Just one injection into each of five points between and above the eyebrows stops the signal from the nerve to the muscles, ultimately resulting in a reduction of muscle activity and temporarily preventing contraction of the muscles that cause frown lines."

I never dreamed I'd see the day when back-to-school products include wrinkle treatments.

Besides, what parent would risk losing the ability to raise and lower their eyebrows? It could force them to find other facial expressions to indicate to the kid when their attempt to BS has been detected.

Come to think of it, though, there might be an up-side to having eyebrows that remain arched for days on end, as children would be made endlessly wary, wondering what their parents might know.

Personally, I think Dysport would sell more product if they dropped the soft sell and went blunt instead:

"Summer with the kids has left you looking old. We can help."

Or maybe they could play up the fear angle:

"Parents: You might call them frown lines, but to your child's teacher and other authorities, they're physical indications of rigid sternness that says Potential Child Abuser. Consider the money you could save on legal fees. Dysport injections practically pay for themselves!"

Still, I doubt it'll be long before Dysport or Botox or some similar product manufacturer recognizes they've been missing what could potentially be a much larger market.

Just think of how beneficial chemically raised brows could be to the teen caught in school hallways shortly after the ground has rumbled.

"What!? Drop an M-80 down the toilet in the second-floor bathroom!? Me?! I couldn't possibly do such a thing!"

"What!? Post-It Notes completely covering the principal's car? Does this look like the face of the guilty?"

A semi-permanent expression of innocent astonishment could well serve a good many. It's just a matter of time before it appears on the shelf between the Elmer's and No. 2 pencils.

Dysport: Not just your mother's anti-wrinkle treatment anymore!

Reach Karen Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.