He: "They're not here."
She (after lifting the mail that was on top of the keys that were in the dish on the hall table): "Here."
My husband insists women are simply better than men at finding lost items, as though our female parts function as some sort of homing device, an internal GPS unit that directs us toward random possessions.
If one accepts that women are more adept at finding lost items than men, the next question would be at what age in a female's life does the tracking device roar to life? I can say without hesitation that, at least in our house, the age isn't 14. If there were only one T-shirt hanging in my daughter's closet, I suspect she'd be incapable of finding it without my assistance.
I will never understand how the world's greatest detectives have been men. It seems impossible to me that in a crime scene filled with myriad items, a man could locate the sliver of toothpick with enough DNA to indict. Especially when that same man can't find the eyeglasses he put on top of his head.
Mom says a man's ability to find things is directly related to whether or not his wife is nearby (or reachable by phone).
I read there's scientific reasoning behind men's inability to find what they're looking for, claiming that men look for a shape, while women look for an object. Females pay attention to all details of an object, but men quickly assess a situation and issue their response. (Their response usually starts with, "Honey, do you know where ... .")
Whatever the reason for the disparity, if my man keeps losing his marbles, his woman could end up losing her mind.
Reach Karin Fuller at karinful...@gmail.com.