CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- With all the startling news about the spread of swine flu, it's easy to see how we could succumb to fearful thoughts. Even the word "pandemic" makes you stop and wonder.

It's a good thing our health professionals have been preparing for an outbreak like this and have plans in place. Still, those maps we see every day with new dots showing locations of confirmed cases give pause.

"Be prepared" is the Boy Scout and Girl Scout motto. Generally, this is good advice to live by -- unless your preparedness takes on a life of its own and leads to obsession.

It's one thing to have your car trunk stocked with flares, water and blankets in case of emergency. Some folks even opt for kitty litter, sand or chains in the winter. And then there's one guy I know who is so prepared that he alphabetizes his canned vegetables. (Now I'll admit to alphabetizing spices, but vegetables?)

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines preparedness as "the quality or state of being prepared -- subjected to a special process or treatment; especially, a state of adequate preparation in cases of disaster." Obsession is defined as "a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling."

So, the trick is to think and to plan enough to be prepared, but not to think and to plan so much that you become obsessed.

This got me thinking about other areas of our lives in which good intentions to be informed and prepared lead to obsessions. Know anyone who is obsessed with the weather? Sure, it's helpful to stock up on materials in case of hurricanes, tornadoes or storms. And you may want to have a Plan B in place for an outdoor wedding. But when you have to consult the 10-day weather forecast for every activity in your life, you may be going a bit too far.

Students of all ages put a lot of pressure on themselves to be prepared for tests and exams. I'll bet some of them (and/or their parents) may be obsessed with grades.

Workers prepare sales pitches, proposals, plans and legal arguments, to name a few. Know any obsessive salesmen or lawyers? Probably so -- because it's not easy to draw the line.

In fact, a hard-driving, ambitious person with a good work ethic is admired in our society -- and for good reason. Again, it's just helpful to monitor if and when you're going over the edge. And the barometer of measurement isn't the same for everyone. All you need to do, though, is look at the other areas of your life to see where imbalances are occurring.

If you're focusing too much on your career, for example, take a look at your relationships (spouse, children, parents, extended family and friends). And vice versa.

My sister, Paula, told me about a model she used for a while that was helpful in uncovering imbalances in her life. It was a three-legged stool, and the legs were labeled Work, Play and Love.

The concept is not necessarily to have ourselves vested 33 1/3 percent in each of the areas of the three legs. At times, we'll need to focus more on work and less on play. Or more on love and less on work. Or more on play and less on love or work. The key is to have the three legs balance out over time -- and to be aware that we need all three of these key ingredients in our lives on an ongoing basis.

I like the simplicity of this model, and it's something I use as a checkpoint now and then. The classic "can't see the forest for the trees" concept comes into play here. When we're so engrossed, we often can't see the toll it's taking in other areas of our lives.

I want to make a distinction between the use of the word "obsessive" in this context and its clinical definition. In the clinical sense, "obsessive" is often linked with compulsive behaviors (excessive washing of hands, for example, or other rituals that must be performed over and over again). These are actually anxiety disorders that require treatment.

I'm talking about self-monitoring our behaviors so that we see when we may be taking something so seriously that we become preoccupied with it to the exclusion of other necessary elements of our lives.

According to the Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, an obsession is an unwelcome, uncontrollable and persistent idea, thought, image or emotion that a person cannot help thinking even though it creates significant distress or anxiety.

People with obsessions may find themselves acting in compulsive ways in largely futile attempts to relieve the anxiety associated with their persistent unpleasant thoughts. Others suffering from obsessions may try very hard to control or ignore them.

It's important to note, however, that legitimate worries about daily concerns -- paying bills, studying for exams, keeping a job and interpersonal relationships -- are not obsessions. Although they can occasionally be carried to obsessive lengths, these concerns can change with circumstances and, in most cases, can be controlled with planning, effort and action. Obsessions relate to problems that most people would consider far removed from normal daily events and concerns.

If you suspect yourself or someone close to you is chronically out of balance, you may want to learn more about anxiety disorders. A good tool is "The Anxiety Answer Book," co-authored by Charleston psychologist Laurie Helgoe. Helgoe points out that an estimated 19 million adult Americans suffer from anxiety disorders -- and anyone who has struggled with anxiety and panic attacks understands that each day brings a new set of fears and challenges.

"The Anxiety Answer Book" is written in an easy-to-read question-and-answer format and helps readers cope with their anxiety, conquer their fears and seek treatment when necessary.

We all have our ups and downs in life. When a nagging behavior causes a sustained out-of-control spiral, though, it may be time to stop and assess things in our lives.

Author Eckhart Tolle helps to put this into perspective: "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry -- all forms of fear -- are caused by too much future and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past -- and not enough presence."

Linda Arnold, MBA, is a certified wellness instructor and chairwoman and CEO of The Arnold Agency, an advertising, public relations and government relations firm in Charleston. Reader comments may be directed to Linda Arnold, The Arnold Agency, 117 Summers St., Charleston, WV 25301, or e-mailed to livinglifefu...@arnoldagency.com.