CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Aerobics. Weight training. Flexibility exercises.

When you hear the word "fitness," do you automatically think about physical fitness? It's only natural that we gravitate toward these areas.

But there's another barometer of fitness that has everything to do with the way we feel: emotional fitness. The only problem is there's not a universal measurement system to monitor this. No body mass index or heart rate calculation. So how do we know how emotionally fit we are?

Although the tools aren't there as they are with the physically fit measurements, there are ways we can gauge our emotional fitness. The trouble is we're usually "off the stress scale" by the time we notice.

Emotional fitness is all about the way we cope -- how we stand up to the stressors in our lives. When things are going well, we tend not to pay attention. However, when we're under a lot of stress, we start to notice all kinds of signs.

Insomnia. Carbohydrate cravings. Irritability. Escape mechanisms like TV, shopping, alcohol, drugs -- you name it.

This got me thinking about ways we can fortify ourselves and improve our emotional fitness levels.

I ran across an online quiz the other day that helped to shed some light on things.

Check out some of these questions. Which answer best describes you?

1. How good are you at taking your emotional pulse?

a. When something's bothering me, I can usually identify what it is and why it's getting to me.

b. I'm intensely aware of my emotions and get really frustrated when my feelings tilt toward the negative.

c. I don't check in with myself emotionally. When I feel out of sorts I stay busy and count on the feeling passing, without having to examine it.

2. When you're faced with a crisis, such as impending layoffs at work or a health scare in the family, you are most likely to:

a. Evaluate what I can and can't control. Then I take action where possible and distract myself with other activities when there's nothing I can do.

b. Become so paralyzed with fear or numbness that I have trouble thinking clearly or taking useful action.

c. Feel completely torn between anxiety and denial and start contemplating all the different ways the situation could play out.

3. Which of the following best describes your relationships with family members and friends?

a. I have friends and family nearby, but I don't always feel like I can count on them. Often, I feel like I do a lot more giving than receiving.

b. There are a number of people I feel close to, can confide in and who understand me. There's a healthy give-and-take in terms of emotional support.

c. I frequently feel lonely and isolated. I wish I had more people in my life that I felt close to.

4. How do you know you're stressed out?

a. My behavior changes. My junk food consumption skyrockets, my cravings for alcohol, cigarettes or caffeine intensify, and/or I have trouble making myself get off the couch.

b. I recognize my own warning signs like insomnia, headaches or digestive problems, and do something to address my stress level so I can get relief.

c. I wouldn't know if I have a stress warning sign because I'm so used to popping a pill for every twinge of mental or physical discomfort.

5. When it comes to your emotions, how private are you?

a. I feel pretty comfortable and stable in my own skin so I let most of my feelings show when it's appropriate.

b. I only feel comfortable sharing my highest highs and lowest lows. I don't usually reveal what I'm feeling in between.

c. I tend to bottle everything up inside. I don't really want people to know how I'm feeling.

6. When you feel like there are too many demands being made of you and you feel like screaming in frustration, you tend to:

a. Know myself well enough to recognize that I've hit emotional overload and pull out one of my trusty coping skills like taking a walk, calling a friend or doing something else to decompress.

b. Find myself watching more TV than usual, going shopping frequently or seeking other opportunities for emotional escape.

c. Find myself getting sucked into the eye of the storm without knowing how to help myself get out of it.

If you want me to send you the entire quiz, just drop me an e-mail. You can probably gauge from your responses to these sample questions, though, which of the below category you fall into.

1. You're emotionally as fit as a fiddle.

You're in touch with your feelings, and you have good coping mechanisms. While you have your ups and downs, you don't let setbacks keep you down. You have a strong support system that goes both ways.

2. Your emotional level could use a boost.

You're too easily upset by life's curveballs. You've got some good coping skills, but you need to build on them. Think about situations where you feel confident and think of ways you could transfer this confidence into areas in which you feel shakier. How could you better manage your moods?

How could you change the way you think about difficult situations? Could you cultivate some more supportive relationships?

3. You're not in tune with what's going on in your heart, mind or soul; and you're overwhelmed by the demands in your life.

This is your wake-up call. It's time to get to work on your emotional fitness. Start by taking baby steps. Learn to recognize your own feelings -- and their causes -- by trying to name them when they occur. Find one person you can trust and begin to confide in him or her. Reduce stress in your life: ask for help, set limits or delegate. Get a grip on your own mood management by practicing relaxation techniques or engaging in healthy problem-solving activities. Each successful change you make will encourage you to take more positive steps.

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Linda Arnold, MBA, is a certified wellness instructor and chairwoman/CEO of The Arnold Agency, an advertising, public relations and government relations firm. Reader inquiries may be directed to Linda Arnold, The Arnold Agency, 117 Summers St., Charleston, WV 25301, or e-mailed to livinglifefu...@arnoldagency.com.