A petition filed by the young and disgruntled calls for the Obama administration to "provide university graduates the ability to trade their diplomas back for 100 percent tuition refunds." The new law is needed, according to the petitioners, "because of the inability of recent college graduates to find gainful employment in order to repay their college debt," which "cannot be eliminated in bankruptcy."
In response to all the petitions calling for secession, another petition was filed calling for those who signed such petitions to "physically trade places" with prospective immigrants on waiting lists to receive U.S. citizenship."
Among responses from the administration to petitions filed via "We the People" was one from Sam Kass, assistant White House chef and senior policy adviser for healthy food. Kass was Obama's point man, or perhaps "pint" man, in dealing with citizens demanding the president "release the recipe for the honey brown ale home-brewed at the White House."
"Inspired by home brewers from across the country, last year President Obama bought a home brewing kit for the kitchen," Kass replied. After running off some best-forgotten experimental batches, "we landed on some great recipes that came from a local brew shop," made use of tips from home-brewing White House staffers, and added a signature ingredient -- honey from the first-ever beehive on the South Lawn.
"The honey gives the beer a rich aroma and a nice finish, but doesn't sweeten it," Kass wrote, adding that White House Honey Brown Ale "is the first alcohol brewed or distilled on the White House grounds" although George Washington was known to make home brew at Mount Vernon.
Kass went on to supply the petitioners with recipes for three White House home brew products. The title of his official response?
"Ale to the Chief."