Why all of this hasn't fallen in my lap yet is beyond me.
So when I remembered to buy Powerball tickets the other day, I got 10 of them. I already had four tickets I hadn't even bothered to check yet from last time. In fact, I am not really sure how to check Powerball tickets, so I have probably won before and just didn't even know it! Someone told me to go back to the store where I bought them and they could check it for me. I have to make a note of that.
So I put on my Russian Red Chanel lipstick and went to the Go-Mart. I said, "Hello, friend, would you check my Powerball tickets?"
I stood there patiently, smiling, even though I am usually in a wild hurry about everything because there is something crazy going on at the house. But this was a moment I wanted to savor.
So he ran them all through the machine. He said if I won the Powerball, the machine would beep.
So I stood there like I know the sun is going to rise in the east. I wasn't even excited about it.
As he was running all the tickets through, I said, "You know, I really don't care about this. That's how I know the outcome. You see, I don't actually do this kind of thing. It's really quite silly."
The clerk just looked at me.
It was the day before Thanksgiving and he was looking totally exhausted, wearing pajama pants.
When the machine didn't buzz after the final ticket, I knew it was either a mistake or that the time was not yet nigh. I was shocked but by no means disappointed.
Absolutely no one could spend a Powerball as skillfully as I could, which doesn't mean I LIKE the idea or that I WANT to do it. It just means I know how. On some fundamental level, I intuit that winning the Powerball is just going to be a whole big bunch of MORE WORK FOR ME. That may be the reason why it isn't all that exciting.
Afterward I just stood there in complete disbelief, and said, "Really?"
Reach Tracy Herz at tracyh...@gmail.com.