Steelhammer: On Osama avoiding attention, and Bieber drawing it
Talk about being all hat and no cowboy.
One of the big stories in the news last week came from a Pakistani government report leaked by the news agency Al-Jazeera, part of which dealt with how Osama bin Laden managed to keep a low profile while living in hiding for years in a large compound near a Pakistani military base.
On page 41 of the Abbottabad Report, it was revealed that when bin Laden "moved about the compound, he wore a cowboy hat to avoid detection from above," presumably by surveillance satellites or drones.
Sure, a 6-foot-4 guy in a cowboy hat strolling through a walled compound in Pakistan is not likely to stand out to American spies, neighbors, or cadets and instructors at the nearby Pakistan Military Academy.
If he was seen, they probably thought it was Toby Keith.
In other geopolitical news, it turns out that not all Canadians are polite.
Last week, north-of-the-border celeb Justin Bieber got in hot water for being filmed dumping his wastewater in a janitor's bucket in the kitchen hallway of a New York nightclub after defacing and then potty-mouthing a wall-mounted photo of ex-President Bill Clinton.
Luckily for Bieber, in America cussing out a president while urinating in a mop bucket is an activity protected by the First Amendment, which in this country is taken partially as seriously as the Second Amendment.
After a video of the incident went viral, Bieber's agent apparently realized damage control was needed and had his client phone the ex-prez and apologize. Clinton apparently responded graciously, since Bieber later thanked Clinton, or "#greatguy," on Twitter for speaking with him.
Perhaps Clinton felt that when you're 19 years old and messed up enough to publicly hose down a bucket in a nightclub kitchen, you're bound to say some outrageous things.
But there's still a nightclub janitor somewhere out there in New York who deserves a sincere apology and a brand new bucket -- preferably one that's full of cash.
Bieber would be wise to make that happen. Otherwise, his career could end up where his nightclub spectacle should have taken place. In the toilet.