Disgruntled voters from all 50 states seeking to secede from the Union following the recent presidential election are not the only disenfranchised-feeling citizens making somewhat ironic use of the Obama administration's "We the People" public petition Website during the past week.
When I made my first visit to the "We the People" site on Friday to see how the secession petitions were doing, I discovered that dozens of even more quixotic and imaginative petition drives are underway.
Right off the bat, I learned that Americans are fast to petition in response to a crisis.
A petition drive calling for the Obama administration to "Nationalize the Twinkie Industry" began just a few hours after Hostess Brands announced it was planning to seek bankruptcy protection and liquidate its assets -- including its iconic, spongy snack cake with the three-figure shelf life. A government takeover of Twinkie production was necessary, according to the petition, "to prevent our nation from losing her sweet, creamy center," a place not much in evidence during the recent electoral unpleasantness.
Another recently filed petition seeks to "allow United States Military service members to place their hands in their pockets" while on duty. "We hold these truths to be self-evident," the petition began, "that all uniforms have pockets, and hands fit perfectly inside them." Exercising the right to temporarily sequester one's salute-maker in one's uniform pocket "is not a sign of disrespect," the petitioners argued.
Americans disgruntled over the slow pace of the nation's judicial system may want to take notice of a newly filed petition calling for the establishment of a "system of motorcycle-riding 'judges,' who serve as police, judge, jury and executioner, all in one."
That "We the People" petition, which had collected 2,143 electronic signatures by early Friday night, seeks to "dissolve the current legal system and replace it with a single Hall of Justice run by motorcycle riding law officers." You know, "Sons of Anarchy" meets "People's Court." What could go wrong?