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Steelhammer: Dress codes and beer power

At last, a dress code I can live with!

Too bad I'll never get the chance to comply with it.

The Standards and Practices wing of CBS Television sent out a memo to all presenters, performers and nominees taking part in today's <co feb 10>Grammy Awards ceremony spelling out what is considered acceptable on-screen attire.

While I tend to avoid situations in which coats and ties are mandatory and jeans and T-shirts are verboten, I would have no problem adhering to CBS's low-bar fashion standards, as contained in a memo to performers that was leaked to the press last week:

"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong-type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare, fleshy under-curves of the buttocks and buttock crack," the memo states. "Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. ...Please be sure the genital area is adequately covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts."

In other words, it's a policy with no ifs, ands or butts. And leave the Mystery Hole shirt at home. 

You know, I feel a little proud knowing that those are the kinds of fashion standards I manage to adhere to day in, day out -- unless I'm called upon to stoop at an extreme angle to change a tire or repair a drain.

That said, I suspect there won't be too many guys at the Grammies dressed by my designers -- the Marts of Wal and K.

***

"It's the circle of life at its finest," Time magazine recently gushed about an Alaska microbrewery's new recycling scheme: using beer to generate electricity, and then using that power to brew more brew.

A new $1.8 million boiler that converts mashed-up, pulpy grain left over from the brewing process into steam used to produce fresh batches of beer was recently installed at the Alaskan Brewing Co. in Juneau.

The new system is expected to cut fuel consumption by as much as 70 percent and save Alaska Brewing Co. $150,000 annually, according to brewery officials.

It's probably only a matter of time until the brewery recognizes the potential of another green power source associated with beer-making and beer consumption:

Installing micro hydro-power units in all the men's rooms where Alaska Brewing Co. products are sold.


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