P. Edward Sadie: Anti-child attitudes harm more than kids
CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Recent articles in the newspapers keep me pondering and praying.
"More deaths than births in West Virginia . . . Charleston population stalled at 50,000 . . . average age in Charleston rises . . . . number of households drops . . . outlook for insufficient number of caregivers for elderly. . ."
Troubling statistics continue to unfold.
Add the issues prevalent in the Western Christian world:
Birth rate below replacement rate -- tacit acceptance of destruction of those conceived but not yet born, and even those partially born -- couples postponing marriage, choosing not to marry, preferring to embrace long-term "relationships" -- married couples who, for selfish reasons, choose not to conceive or who, because of hard economic reasons, are forced to avoid or postpone conception -- "in vitro fertilization" and the associated destruction of "extra" embryos to assure only healthy, handsome, highly intelligent or specific-sex babies -- and the push for sterile marital unions of same-sex couples.
Compare low birthrates in the West with the high rates of birth in other parts of the world. Is it just a matter of time before the West is overwhelmed by the East?
Better minds than mine need to address these issues. My plea and prayer is simply that people change what I consider a growing "anti-children" attitude in today's Western society. John Burroughs, an American naturalist, suggested that those lives not blessed by children are "narrow and confined." There is something to be said for that, even though it is not possible for some of us to have the several children Burroughs recommended.
I suggest a 12-step program to ensure that we as a society do all we can to be child-friendly and family-focused, to see children as God's gift of the present, God's hope for the future.
"The first duty to children is to make them happy. If you have not made them so, you have wronged them. No other good they may get can make up for that." -- Charles Buxton, British philanthropist and social reformer. A powerful way to make your child happy is to provide a secure home through your loving relationship with your child's other parent.
<z6b-1f"ZapfDingbats">n<f$z$b$> "Children have more need of models than of critics." -- Joseph Joubert, French moralist and essayist. By modeling positive, appropriate behavior ourselves, we shape children's actions and attitudes. If we show them the best, they will emulate the best. When we speak positively to and of children, we say as much about ourselves as we say of them.
"The interests of childhood and youth are the interests of mankind." -- Edmund Storer James. We must prioritize children in our lives. They are our future and our only hope.
"In praising or loving a child, we love and praise not that which is but what we hope for." -- Johann von Goethe, German thinker. All children, not only those we recognize as "family," need and deserve our attention and affection.
We must be alert to any actions threatening the emotional, physical or moral safety of any child. Pope Benedict XVI has observed that abuse of children and young people is a heinous crime and a "grave sin which offends God and wounds the dignity of the human person created in God's image."
"Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever-fresh and radiant possibility." -- Kate Douglas Wiggin, American educator. What a wonderful sentiment! We should compliment parents and show pleasure at seeing children in churches, stores, and restaurants.
CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Recent articles in the newspapers keep me pondering and praying.
"More deaths than births in West Virginia . . . Charleston population stalled at 50,000 . . . average age in Charleston rises . . . . number of households drops . . . outlook for insufficient number of caregivers for elderly. . ."
Troubling statistics continue to unfold.
Add the issues prevalent in the Western Christian world:
Birth rate below replacement rate -- tacit acceptance of destruction of those conceived but not yet born, and even those partially born -- couples postponing marriage, choosing not to marry, preferring to embrace long-term "relationships" -- married couples who, for selfish reasons, choose not to conceive or who, because of hard economic reasons, are forced to avoid or postpone conception -- "in vitro fertilization" and the associated destruction of "extra" embryos to assure only healthy, handsome, highly intelligent or specific-sex babies -- and the push for sterile marital unions of same-sex couples.
Compare low birthrates in the West with the high rates of birth in other parts of the world. Is it just a matter of time before the West is overwhelmed by the East?
Better minds than mine need to address these issues. My plea and prayer is simply that people change what I consider a growing "anti-children" attitude in today's Western society. John Burroughs, an American naturalist, suggested that those lives not blessed by children are "narrow and confined." There is something to be said for that, even though it is not possible for some of us to have the several children Burroughs recommended.
I suggest a 12-step program to ensure that we as a society do all we can to be child-friendly and family-focused, to see children as God's gift of the present, God's hope for the future.
"The first duty to children is to make them happy. If you have not made them so, you have wronged them. No other good they may get can make up for that." -- Charles Buxton, British philanthropist and social reformer. A powerful way to make your child happy is to provide a secure home through your loving relationship with your child's other parent.<z6b-1f"ZapfDingbats">n<f$z$b$> "Children have more need of models than of critics." -- Joseph Joubert, French moralist and essayist. By modeling positive, appropriate behavior ourselves, we shape children's actions and attitudes. If we show them the best, they will emulate the best. When we speak positively to and of children, we say as much about ourselves as we say of them.
"The interests of childhood and youth are the interests of mankind." -- Edmund Storer James. We must prioritize children in our lives. They are our future and our only hope."In praising or loving a child, we love and praise not that which is but what we hope for." -- Johann von Goethe, German thinker. All children, not only those we recognize as "family," need and deserve our attention and affection.We must be alert to any actions threatening the emotional, physical or moral safety of any child. Pope Benedict XVI has observed that abuse of children and young people is a heinous crime and a "grave sin which offends God and wounds the dignity of the human person created in God's image.""Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever-fresh and radiant possibility." -- Kate Douglas Wiggin, American educator. What a wonderful sentiment! We should compliment parents and show pleasure at seeing children in churches, stores, and restaurants."What the best and wisest parent wants for his own child, that must the community want for all its children." -- John Dewey, American educational reformer. There is not a parent alive who doesn't want what is best for his child. We must all support efforts to strengthen schools, recreational programs and community and health services that benefit children."Children are God's apostles, sent forth, day by day, to preach of love and hope and peace." -- J.R. Lowell, American poet. With these words in mind, we must show greater appreciation for small children in public places and avoid ugly stares and frowns at children acting up, even at worship services.Encourage children to help other children. Rather than dispose of outgrown children's books, toys and games, pass them on to the Gabriel Project, Sojourners or other groups which help children in need.When it is possible to graciously do so, we should assist parents of children from the wisdom of our experience.We should express gratitude to local newspapers when they publicize such events as the recent St. Matthew's Episcopal Church Vacation Bible School involving 130 children and 100 volunteers.As families, we should take time to be involved in our own children's academic, moral and social education, while at the same time showing our support and appreciation for those who spend their days teaching and caring for children."I have often thought what a melancholy world this would be without children; and what an inhuman world, without the aged," British poet and philosopher Samuel Coleridge wrote. A healthy society requires the full spectrum of human years. What a dreary world it would be without a large population of young people to breathe life and vitality into our neighborhoods, our downtown streets, our churches and the like.
Imagine: old people serving old people in near empty stores; malls bereft of young people and the noise they make; ministers at church assisted only by adults; empty streets and sidewalks; churches frequented only by the elderly; empty playgrounds and fewer school plays and athletic events. The quiet would be earsplitting. The effect would be chilling.
In order for a people to thrive, there must be multigenerational communities that value everyone, from the youngest to the oldest and all those in between. Time, talent and treasure must be wisely invested to support each group with special attention given to the children and their needs.
Our community is moving in the right direction to strengthen a multi-generational atmosphere for its residents and visitors. I appreciate the efforts of Charleston to bring together children, adopted children, stepchildren, their parents, relatives and friends in such fun days as FestivAll, the Vandalia Gathering, Symphony Sunday, Live at the Levee and other family events at Magic Island and on downtown streets.
While the inconvenience of closing off Kanawha Boulevard for a few days each year bothers some people, it seems a small price for strengthening and enriching our city socially, aesthetically, and financially.
One pleasure is mine alone. While vesting for daily Mass, I stare out the church window, watching mothers and fathers dropping off their children at Sacred heart Daycare Center. What a delight to see parents on the sidewalk, children in the window, blowing kisses, exchanging hand signals, or simply voicing "I love you." I think of the Lord's words, "Let the children come to me . . . for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14)
Monsignor Sadie is rector of Charleston's Sacred Heart Co-Cathedral.
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