"He had the presence of mind ..." First it takes hand-eye coordination to make a great catch, then you need the presence of mind to get both feet inbounds before absorbing a hit without fumbling - that's ball security, folks; otherwise, you might commit a costly turnover.
"He's running downhill." It's unbelievable how many tax-funded stadiums are built on a slope.
"He's trying to get to the second level." First you've got stadiums that are built on a hill, now you've got fields that have staircases.
(Mayock on the Ravens' Joe Flacco: "When Joe Flacco can set up in a solid pocket, he's as good as anyone you'll ever see." Wow - that's a lot of quarterbacks. But, hey, I've seen 'em all since Johnny Unitas, and I only rank Flacco 53rd for quarterbacks setting up in a solid pocket.)
"They're in no-man's land." Originally, I thought this was referring to Lilith Fair, but apparently, it's the part of the gridiron - between your opponent's 35 and 50 - in which a field goal attempt would be a little too long and a punt might not net a lot of yards, so a team just goes for it. I guess we're talking four-down territory.
"They have to establish their running game." Actually, they don't.
Ask The Slouch
Q. Coaches and media people often say a team has "a knowledgeable fan base." How does one identify an unknowledgeable fan base? (Philip Murphy; Boardman, Ohio)
A. If the guy sitting next to you at a game is bare-chested with a letter painted on his torso, that's one telltale sign.
Q. Wouldn't the World Series get a lot more attention if they held it after football season was over? (William Murray; Chicago)
A. I'm sure Bud Selig is working on this as we speak.
Q. Ever get a lap dance while watching a bowling event on TV? (Mark Steinberg; Seattle)
A. No - how would I be able to reach my PBR in a can?
Q. The AFL and NFL coexisted for only 10 years before those two pro leagues merged. Aren't we way overdue for an SEC-NFL merger? (Steve Knack; Bethesda, Md.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
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