NOTE: THIS COLUMN contains a piece of shocking information not suitable for all sports fans. Reader discretion is advised.
The NFL recently announced it might expand its playoff format, to perhaps allow as many as half of the league's 32 teams into the postseason.
This was as inevitable as a Jay Cutler thrown-off-his-back-foot interception.
In America - Motto: "Capitalizing on Consumer Needs One Markup at a Time Since 1776" - you either get bigger or you go bust. 7-Eleven introduced the Big Gulp in 1980; McDonald's began super-sizing in 1993.
In addition, the universe is expanding and, of course, eventually will explode.
Until then, a super-sized NFL postseason serves most of its fans best. With doomsday coming, who wouldn't want to watch more games with playoff implications and more playoff games?
But a watered-down NFL postseason brings the prospect of more run-of-the-mill playoff entrants - .500 teams and the like - trying to make their way to Super Bowl Sunday.
A couple of years ago - when Sports Nation went into a full-throated froth over the fact that the 7-9 Seattle Seahawks made the postseason and actually hosted a playoff game against the 11-5 New Orleans Saints - I correctly pointed out that it was possible for a 3-13 team to qualify for the NFL postseason.
(Here's the simple, far-fetched scenario: Each of the four teams in a division goes 3-3 within its division and loses all 10 of its out-of-division games, leaving everyone tied at 3-13 and someone playoff-bound as division champion through some labyrinth tiebreaking formula.)
But I failed to recognize a more horrifying, Nate Silver-defying set of circumstances that would reduce America to a heap of "SportsCenter"-strangling rubble.
Rather than split each divisional home-and-home series, all divisional games could end in an overtime tie. Meaning it is technically possible - yes, technically, theoretically, improbably and impractically possible - that every team in a single division could have a 0-10-6 record.
Do you realize the implications of this?
1. Skip Bayless would have to undergo electroshock therapy.
2. Short of a constitutional amendment - or emergency congressional legislation - this means a team that is winless during the regular season could become Super Bowl champion.
A winless team could win the Super Bowl.
And I thought the MLS's aggregate-goal playoff format was the ultimate New World joke.