How can someone schedule a nationally televised confessional and somehow emerge looking as even a worse person than before? Armstrong did it almost effortlessly.
He unwittingly got help from the most trusted person in America, Oprah Winfrey.
I hardly ever watched "The Oprah Winfrey Show," so I had forgotten a very simple truth:
She's darn good at her craft.
She does her homework, she asks common-sense questions and she listens.
Oprah began the interview brilliantly, posing five basic yes-or-no questions that stripped away Armstrong's decade of deceit and disarmed the man.
She may not have probed as far as she could have in certain areas, but she smartly gave Armstrong space to let his shallow character shine through.
And when she challenged him, she was devastatingly on point.
"You're suing people and you know that they're telling the truth," Oprah said to him, incredulously. "What is that?"
What is that?
Ask The Slouch
Q. NFL teams just hired eight new head coaches - all white. Whatever happened to the Rooney Rule? (Gary Markowitz; Olney, Md.)
A. My interpretation of the Rooney Rule is this: You must interview a black man before you hire a white man. P.S. In an oversight, I don't think the Rooney Rule even applies to women.
Q. Now that Lance Armstrong has finally admitted to doping, can you finally admit that all of your best work has been written under the influence of Pabst Blue Ribbon? (Phil Salvatori; Wheeling, W.Va.)
A. I'm going to need a home address to serve you with a summons.
Q. Will the Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans still be eligible to play in the NFL once Texas secedes from the United States? (Jim Anicas; Pittsburgh)
A. Yes, but Commissioner Roger Goodell has indicated that each team will have to play eight home games a year in London.
Q. Is it possible you once had a wife that didn't exist? (James Jansen; Albany, N.Y.)
A. Boy, that casts a whole different light on my first marriage.
Q. Will Maryland play itself in next year's ACC-Big Ten Challenge? (Mark Cohen; Gibsonia, Pa.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!