6:54: I half-expected David Akers to have a cigarette and a blindfold when he came out for his first field-goal attempt.
8:09: Beyonce runs the pistol offense at halftime.
8:32: Ravens' Jacoby Jones returns second-half kickoff 108 yards to make it 28-6.
8:33: Most of my Super Bowl guests aren't even arriving until the fourth quarter. Gosh, I'm going to have to entertain them myself.
8:37: The Superdome goes dark - my guess is Shannon Sharpe tripped over his tongue and caused a power outage.
8:45: Uh oh, Solomon Wilcots and Steve Tasker have the only live microphones. The White House could declare it a national emergency.
9:03: If this delay goes any longer, CBS might fly in Charlie Rose to fill.
9:32: 49ers score twice in 2:21 after lights mysteriously went out; Oliver Stone's thinking he has a new film.
9:34: I remember I needed a power outage during my second honeymoon to change momentum.
10:05: These 49ers have made more comebacks than Robert Downey Jr.
10:20: When calls go against 49ers, Jim Harbaugh looks like his dad's just grounded him for a week.
10:31: Is "Elementary" still going to be on?
10:34: 49ers fail on fourth-and-goal; Jim Harbaugh's head explodes and Ravens survive, 34-31.
10:40: I imagine I'm the only one who thinks the 49ers win this game if they start Alex Smith.
10:45: Boy, Ray Lewis is going to be fired up in retirement with two Super Bowl rings and no murder charges.
Ask The Slouch
Q. I have a bet with my brother: I say the Pro Bowl was last played in 1993; he says it's next week. Who's right? (Dan Morgiewicz; Burke, Va.)
A. I'm going to give you each $1.25.
Q. If ESPN televised Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pa., would it be a weeklong event? (Binny Natto; Dormont, Pa.)
A. From your lips to Bristol's ears, I fear.
Q. Will the Ford Motor Company resurrect the Mercury Cougar line and hire Danica Patrick to drive it? (Joe Ogle; Greenwood, Ind.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!