For starters, they will compete for the Sprint Cup rookie-of-the-year award. At the Daytona 500 last week, Patrick finished eighth and Stenhouse was 12th. In many relationships, a man often doesn't like it when his mate is more successful than he is.
(I don't have that problem. I'm old school: I try to keep Toni, a.k.a. She Is The One, barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. And it's worked to some extent - I haven't knocked her up yet, but she's become as good of a no-shoes-and-no-socks-at-any-time chef as anybody in the business.)
Age is another barrier for the couple; he's 25 and she's almost 31. Now, that won't matter as much when they're 93 and 99, but right now, those six years are like a Grand Canyon cultural fissure. Dating an older woman is tricky business; at the very least, Stenhouse should watch a bunch of "Sex and the City" reruns.
(By the way, my PGA grapevine tells me Tiger Woods might reunite with Elin Nordgren. Don't do it, pal. And I'd give the same advice to Elin. There's an old adage about remarrying an ex-spouse: "Once an accident, twice an idiot.")
Finally, there's talk that this romantic link will lead to Patrick and Stenhouse "playing footsie" on the track, so to speak, either yielding to each other or retaliating against other drivers. Nonsense - they're both professionals.
The truer test will be after the romance is over - again, I'm not rooting against them, I just know that 99 or so out of every 100 relationships end before death does anyone part. Man, that first race after the breakup, who doesn't want to see that baby?
It will make "Cannonball Run" look like "Driving Miss Daisy."
Ask The Slouch
Q. 50 Cent tried to steal a kiss from Fox's Erin Andrews at the Daytona 500. Do you run into the same problem when you broadcast the World Series of Poker? (J.B. Koch; Waukesha, Wis.)
A. I would never stop 50 Cent from trying to kiss me.
Q. What's your time in the 40? (Tom Schultz; Milwaukee)
A. If there happens to be some really, really good barbecued ribs 120 feet away, I can be more nimble than you'd imagine.
Q. Dennis Rodman embarked last week on a "goodwill tour" of North Korea. Why? (Paul Ross; Carmel, Ind.)
A. Lenny Dykstra was unavailable.
Q. In New York they have alternate-side-of-the-street parking. Do college basketball refs use the same approach when making charge/block calls? (Bo Cunningham; Spokane, Wash.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
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