"OK? Stay put, Marshall! We love you. Stay put. It doesn't seem like we love you, but we love you!"
Nobody particularly liked playing Coles' RedHawks, whether they were championship caliber or just middle-of-the-road. They were always sticky on defense and in no hurry to shoot at the other end.
After a 44-39 loss, Western Michigan coach Steve Hawkins remarked, "I just wanted off the bench." The RedHawks and Herd were tied at 42 in regulation in January 2004, a game Miami won 51-48 in overtime.
That game was so bad, it was funny. And Coles was funny, too.
And finally, a golf note: I am going to make the Tiger Woods prediction nobody else dares to utter.
With 78 PGA Tour victories, he will run down Sam Snead's record of 82. But he will not, not, not catch Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 majors.
In the end, we will look back on his knee injuries and the fire-hydrant-induced exile that cost him four major starts and sapped his momentum.
Reach Doug Smock at 304-348-5130, dougsm...@wvgazette.com or follow him at twitter.com/dougsmock.