We're never happy with anything. We complain about other players, we complain about the dealers, we complain about the food, we complain about the bathrooms; we'd complain about the Rembrandts on the walls if there were Rembrandts on the walls.
There's a lot of yapping.
Which, actually, makes it very much like Westminster, decibel-wise.
Except I am repeatedly reminded why I often prefer the company of cocker spaniels to card sharks - dogs may bark a lot, but poker players whine and whimper more.
Ask The Slouch
Q. Do you consider Nik Wallenda an athlete or a circus freak? (Kyle Hart; Chicago)
A. Golfers are considered "athletes" and all they do is spend 90 seconds lining up eight-foot putts. If Wallenda reads the break wrong on his high wire, he's dead; somehow, I think his pursuit is more athletically challenging.
Q. Is the NBA draft over yet? (Ron Jacobs; Port Arthur, Tex.)
A. Actually, I am awaiting word on my proposal to the World Television Council to combine the NBA and NHL drafts into one two-hour special hosted by Regis Philbin.
Q. What do you hear about the long-term prospects of the Tiger Woods-Lindsey Vonn pairing? (Sarah Williams; Martinsburg)
A. In the prime of his life, Tiger's dating a woman with a surgically rebuilt knee; he can do better.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!