And Cowboys coach Jason Garrett has handed the play-calling over to assistant Bill Callahan; this will free him up to take in-game calls and texts from Jones, which, in turn, will prevent the ageless monarch from having to bound down onto the field late in every game with instructions.
Meanwhile, in Kansas City, Reid - criticized, pilloried and disparaged - is about to deliver a season of redemption. In Philadelphia, he had a 130-93-1 record in 14 years, with four straight NFC championship game appearances, but was run out of town on a behind-schedule Amtrak rail.
Another Chief on the road to redemption will be former 49ers quarterback Alex Smith. Under Jim Harbaugh, he was 19-5-1 as a starter with a 104.1 passer rating last season - and was benched. Forget the road to redemption, this fella drove all the way from San Francisco to Kansas City WITH ROAD RAGE. Of course, the 49ers made the Super Bowl once Smith was sidelined, but I will not allow those types of trifling details to derail my prognosticating genius.
Reid and Smith will be ably assisted by a cast of fine players you've never heard of, like Dwayne Bowe, Branden Albert, Eric Fisher, Justin Houston, Eric Berry and Tamba Hali.
Why have I heard of them? Because I am Couch Slouch, and it's my job to keep my loyal readers in the loop. Super Bowl 48: Cowboys-Chiefs. Pay The Man, Shirley.
Ask The Slouch
Q. Was the whole Johnny Manziel autograph brouhaha a taste of impropriety or a waste of time? (David Goodman; Louisville, Ky.)
A. I hate to quibble with Texas A&M's decision, but I looked at the same evidence and I would've suspended Johnny Football for the second half - not the first half - of the season opener.
Q. What exactly do you do on vacation? (Peter Beck; Albany, N.Y.)
A. I don't know - just sit around watching games on TV and stuff.
Q. If I am watching poker on ESPN and I see a player commit a rules violation, should I call you? (Don Pollins; Takoma Park, Md.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!