The Jaguars are spending $63 million next year on improvements to their stadium, including two new end zone video scoreboards that will be the largest in the world - even larger than the flat screen at LeBron James' crib in Akron.
In an attempt to boost attendance to the Indianapolis-Jacksonville contest last week, the Jaguars had a three-hour promotion on Twitter in which fans buying a $45 game ticket would get two free Bud Light beers; another misstep by management there - if they were offering free PBR in a can, I would've been on a Greyhound bus into town faster than you can say "Blaine Gabbert pick."
Most notably, the Jaguars have built a 7,000-square-foot fantasy football lounge at EverBank Field, luring ticket holders to essentially sit in a sports bar in front of a bank of TVs showing other NFL action. The field of play is only partly visible from areas of the lounge.
In other words, you pay to come to the game to watch other games instead.
That's the equivalent of going to the White House and, rather than meeting the president in the Oval Office, watching "Air Force One" on DVD in the Situation Room.
So I ask the fine denizens of Jacksonville: Why bother? Stay at home like me, order NFL Sunday Ticket on DirecTV and - who knows? - Hooters might even deliver.
Ask The Slouch
Q. Can I win $1.25 just by reminding your readers that the Kansas City Chiefs were your NFL Team of Destiny? (Mary Walsh; Oak Park, Ill.)
A. Actually, I took the Chiefs and the perpetually puzzling Cowboys, but, yes, we are wiring you the correct prize funds.
Q. Was that really Larry King subbing for Keith Olbermann on "Olbermann" last week lobbying for an electronic strike zone? (Peter Browne; Carmel, Ind.)
A. That was Larry King in the flesh. Apparently, Arthur Godfrey was unavailable.
Q. The 49ers' Donte Whitner is now Donte Hitner. Shouldn't Couch Slouch become Couch Grouch? (Jim Napoli; Reston, Va.)
A. If Donte Whitner had any conscience, he'd go the whole nine yards and change his name to Late Hitner.
Q. If Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods ever break up, would you write that it had been a slippery slope or an unplayable lie? (Jack Leininger; Spokane, Wash.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!