A WSU lineman even got arrested earlier this month at a game, on second-degree assault for an alleged locker-room fight.
By the way, the WSU player charged with theft was arrested after allegedly shoving two bottles of tequila down his trousers at a grocery store; this is exceedingly dumb, practically speaking, in terms of limiting your mobility for a getaway. Plus, when I was at Maryland, I always found tequila tasted better through a straw than through a pants pocket.
In related jurisprudence, Florida linebacker Antonio Morrison was suspended for the first game this season for two arrests, including one in which he was collared for barking at a police dog.
In his defense, I don't know if I want to live in a world in which it's a crime for talking to a canine in his native language.
Come to think of it, maybe some Division I football scholars are majoring in criminal justice and earn class credits serving time in jail.
Ask The Slouch
Q. What NFL rule change would you like to see for the health of the game? (Thomas Hillman; Seattle)
A. I believe the goal posts should extend to the height of the Sears Tower so we can be absolutely sure whether field goal attempts are good or not.
Q. What portion of his 1,000-word letter to Redskins season-ticket holders do you believe Dan Snyder wrote himself? (Greg Schmidt; Charlottesville, Va.)
A. I have it on good authority that he signed his name, without assistance.
Q. Should Texas fire Mack Brown for ruining its plan to fire him? (Mark Cohen; Gibsonia, Pa.)
A. Brown should fire himself, then take a TV studio gig and criticize his decision to fire himself.
Q. Who made the biggest mistake during the MLB postseason, the Detroit Tigers having Prince Fielder protect Miguel Cabrera in the batting lineup or Joe Buck agreeing to broadcast the games with Tim McCarver? (J.B. Koch; Macomb, Mich.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!