But now there's even more emphasis on oil patterns, with Pedersen talking endlessly about friction. That's right, friction. As in:
"Even though there is friction right, you can't get there too quick."
"This is just an overreaction to the friction on the outside part of the lane from Parker Bohn III."
"That ball looks like it wiggled down the lane. It never caught the friction."
I am reminded of one of my favorite sports TV moments ever, right after Pete Weber completed his record fifth U.S. Open title in 2012 and exclaimed to the crowd, "Yes! That is why I did it! Number five! Are you kidding me? That's right! ... Who do you think you are? I am!!!"
"Who do you think you are? I am!!!" is sheer, if, accidental genius, and it didn't involve league bowling, oil patterns or any friction of any kind.
Ask The Slouch
Q. In your East-West comparison last week, you conveniently failed to mention that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, and sunrises are more spectacular, are they not? (Laura Raymond; Providence, R.I.)
A. First of all, who wants to wake up that early for a sunrise? Second of all, there's nothing more spectacular than a hazy southern California sunset, with a PBR in one hand and a bag of Cheez-Its in the other.
Q. Soccer clubs loan players to other teams all the time. Is Alabama missing an opportunity by not loaning out some of its players to the NFL between the end of its regular season and the Sugar Bowl? (Jeff Hazle; Woodbridge, Va.)
A. They would miss too much schoolwork.
Q. If the Lakers were forced to give Kobe Bryant a $48 million extension after he missed a chunk of this season, how much will the Bulls have to pay Derrick Rose for missing almost two entire years? (William Murray; Chicago)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!