MORGANTOWN, W.Va. - You know what happened in 2013, right?
But wouldn't it be nice to know what was going to happen in 2014 ahead of time?
Well, wonder no more. If every single thing on this list doesn't happen, I will personally come to each of your homes and apologize. I might even give you money or do personal favors for you. My wife, my children and my grandchildren will also be at your beck and call, as well as my mother.
I, of course, will be the sole arbiter of whether or not these things actually happened. There will be no arguments or appeals:
Johnny Manziel announces that he's leaving Texas A&M for the NFL. Jake Spavital weeps. ESPN celebrates because the nonsensical-hype void left by Tim Tebow's crash-and-burn is now filled. Manziel collects his first (legal) paycheck. The CFL awaits the next Doug Flutie.
Oliver Luck officially moves to expand beer sales to the general public from Mountaineer Field to the Coliseum.
Bob Huggins again pushes for a renovation of the Coliseum that includes something a bit more modern than urine troughs in the men's rooms.
Someone, hopefully, puts two and two together and realizes that Luck's aforementioned beer proposal can't work without Huggins' restroom proposal.
Some seemingly intelligent athletic director or general manager hires Lane Kiffin as a head coach. Another is smitten enough with Greg Schiano to do the same. Logic and reality are suspended. Again.
The Super Bowl is played in a snowstorm in the New Jersey swamps. Young critics pounce. Traditionalists who remember the Ice Bowl rejoice. It's a sport that has been played outdoors in the fall and winter since its inception. Deal with it.