There is going to be a heavy security presence at this Olympics. The Winter Games might look more like the Hunger Games.
Gay advisory! Gay advisory! Gay advisory! Uh, Sochi's not the best place to visit. If I were part of the LGBT community and considering a trip there to take in the Winter Games, I would reconsider, book a hotel in the Castro district of San Francisco and watch the Olympics with room service.
Ask The Slouch
Q. Tennis players inexplicably get three balls, look at them and then return one to the ball boy. When The Slouch goes bowling, does he ask for three PBRs and return one to the waitress? (Chris Grover; Charlottesville, Va.)
A. You don't give me enough credit, sir - on certain nights, I ask for three PBRs and offer one to the waitress.
Q. Does the fact that Ron Jaworski and Greg Cosell still analyze NFL games on film rather than digital video explain their lackluster performance when they make their forecasts on various ESPN shows? (Tom Johnson; Delmar, N.Y.)
A. I love Jaws, but he's also eating microwave popcorn while watching NFL games on film.
Q. As a professional card player, how often do you wear eye black to reduce glare? (Bill Agnostak; Rockville, Md.)
A. 1. Thank you for referring to me as a "professional card player." 2. I only wear eye black on honeymoons.
Q. In the NFL, when a wide-open receiver headed for the end zone is tackled from behind, why isn't the defender penalized for a clear-path foul? (Dan Neukam; Las Vegas)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
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