And, now in London, the U.S. will have a one-two punch to totally restore decathlon dominance here: Ashton Eaton, who broke the world decathlon record last month at the U.S. Olympic trials, and defending world champion Trey Hardee.
It's easy to cheer on Eaton, whose fiancé, University of Oregon senior Brianne Theisen, is a Canadian Olympic heptathlete. Granted, decathletes and heptathletes - like lawyers and judges or medical examiners and morticians - should not date one another, but you have to credit the grit of any couple that first tackles the hardest Olympic event and then will tackle the hardest human feat (marriage).
Anyway, though I will not be watching, I'm rooting for Ashton Eaton and Trey Hardee. The decathlon once symbolized America's ability to be the best across the board in multiple areas. Now we're only good at one thing - reality TV, which, more or less, is what the Olympics have become.
Ask The Slouch
Q. I was looking through the part-time want ads for a position as a Wizards amnesty player, but wanted to get your advice first: Does it matter how good my inside game is, or is it best to just be out of shape? I could really use $23 million over the next three years. (Mitchell Shapiro; Rockville, Md.)
A. This sounds like a trick question, but I'll still answer, "Andray Blatche."
Q. I know you don't like to spend other people's money, but certainly you would've advised the Knicks to keep Jeremy Lin, no? (Darren Salazar; Pittsburgh)
A. How could the Knicks not gamble on the upside of Lin? "Bye-bye, thanks for lighting up the New York skyline for a month." Geez, that would be like "Happy Days" getting rid of Fonzie after half-a-season.
Q. Did Ralph Lauren use the outfits your groomsmen wore as the basis for the U.S. men's Olympic uniforms? (Tom Simpson; Washington, D.C.)
A. No. My groomsmen wore T-shirts that said, "Leap of Faith."
Q. Usually I mute him, but I swear Tim McCarver just interrupted himself. (Gene Sitterfeld; Glensboro, Ky.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslo...@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!