MORGANTOWN - There are things that I just find confusing or frustrating in this world in which we live.
Like why Ohio is The Birthplace of Aviation and North Carolina is First in Flight. It says so right there on their license plates. Confusing.
Why can't I go to just one drive-thru where I can get a Wendy's hamburger, Burger King fries and one of those McDonalds cherry pies? Frustrating.
Then there are the simple things. Is there another word for synonym? Why are drive-thru bank keypads equipped with Braille? And my personal favorite, what if there were no hypothetical questions?
I don't even want to think about it.
Fortunately, I don't have to. That's because I have the Answer Dude, who in the past few days has been getting a ton of stuff in his in box:
Rumor has it the institution of higher learning here might be considering making a change in the group employed to organize its extracurricular football program pretty soon. I'm hoping that's not the case because I rather depend on the income as it relates to some outstanding bills still due my former employer. If you were a betting man, Dude, in how many of its games do you think the Old Gol ... er, Maize and Blue might have to emerge victorious this season in order to avoid such a development?
To paraphrase the great philosopher Allen Iverson, "Games? We're talking about games?'' Not to belabor the obvious, but I believe there might be more significant criteria in the decision than the number of games won, even at a place that has won more of those than anyone else.
Still, the Dude never walks away from an over-under proposition, so we'll give it a shot. What do you play, 12 and maybe a bowl for 13? Conservatively, I'm going with 14.
See. I told you so. Fire the architect and hire the painter and what does it get you? Now the NCAA is crawling all up your hillbilly buttocks. If you'd just listened to me and taken my money and given the guy everything he wanted you'd still be living in Shangri-La. You dumb rednecks. You're getting what you deserve.